i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
