i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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