Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm gonna fight the coyote
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize