yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
