we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Can I color on your dick again?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
