k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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