How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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