I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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