I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
