Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
