So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
