Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
