so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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