OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
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Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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