I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
