Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize