About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Church boner. Awkwardddd
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
