Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
