last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
