perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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