ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize