my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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