Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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