Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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