god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
