That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
