I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
