how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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