I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
