It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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