so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
