I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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