I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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