I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
