so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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