just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
