and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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