But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
