If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
