It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize