My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
