so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
