Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
