I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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