Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize