Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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