Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
