Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
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