Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
