I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I touched a dick in church today
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
