You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
