I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Randomize
