i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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