i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
