I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
