Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
