hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
