Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
