Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
