im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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