its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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