people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
