are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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