As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Two words: nipple clamps
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