Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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