Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
