THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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